It has been 2 years in college and I have still not got the hang of being in a 70% male-dominated group. I have been around guys before, yes, but this time it is a very different experience – the one that I am still not accustomed to. Precisely, 90% of the guys in the group are from different parts of the country and that is what is contributing many differences. What bewildered me at first was their attitude towards girls. I am not a hardcore feminist or anything, but I think when you are 20 years into experiencing the world, that too in an environment like this, there ought to be some respect towards people of the opposite gender. Referring to a girl as ‘maal‘ and other words that are way beyond my comprehension level. I usually pretend to ignore such random comments (and prefer venting out my feelings here instead :|). I have been told that it is very common for guys to talk or behave like this, but what I cannot understand is how can they be cool with behaving this way right in front of other girls? As far as I have noticed, the other 2 girls don’t seem to be bothered about these kind of remarks (sometimes, they even encourage them – which is astonishing). This is not the kind of environment I have been raised in over the past years. In my school, boys and girls did go around and everything – but it was always clean, cheerful and decent. There was no use of abusive language and indecent behavior. The vibe that I felt there was different. I din’t have to be conscious in their company. I am not generalizing, but purely speaking from experience. Every day in college, I hear a series of cheap words and gaalis being used proudly in a single sentence. They seem to perceive women as “objects” that they can comment on in groups whenever they feel like.
Letting my feelings out, and writing about all this, I remember once a random friend from college asking me how I could tolerate to be in such a company and how “miss-fit” I must be feeling. The real answer to the question is- to be honest, these guys are my friends and have always been nice to me. They have never been rude or spoken cheaply to me. I wonder why can’t this attitude prevail for other girls too? Why can’t they be more open minded about the world and not come off as desperate wannabes? This is not really a north indian boys vs south indian boys thing. I’m sure there are all kinds of men in every region of the world.